I started the broken sleep at 44, the hot flashes at 48, the weight gain at 50, the stiff body parts at 51 and the heart palpitations at 52. My last period was October 2015.
It's now been 8 years of feeling like a totally different person. I don't even like me anymore. I have no sex drive, and I only do it to keep the marriage going. It's sad, but it's life.
I started using a little over the counter progesterone cream that has helped me get to sleep quicker when I wake up throughout the night, and the cream has helped the palpitations disappear.
Cutting sugar out of my diet helped with the hot flashes, but it's the weight gain that bothers me the most. In the past year, the scale skyrocketed up 22 pounds (almost 10 kgs). It's mostly in my tummy area. I'm trying everything from eating healthy and exercising, watching calories, not eating too late, getting enough sleep, etc.
I've always taken care of my body so eating healthy has been easy. I'm 6 feet tall, and I feel like a huge horse at this weight. I cry easily, and this makes me even feel worse about myself.
I boxed up all my clothes, and I'm going to give them away if I can't lose this weight. Currently I live in yoga pants. My husband just doesn't get it and never will.
Sorry to sound like a sad sack, but this has been so hard to deal with. I probably sound crazy to say this, but I liked getting my period. It never caused any problems. My mom breezed through menopause so I was surprised by all the changes. I never realized until now how hormones control everything.
How is your weight? Did you gain a lot too? Has anyone out there had any luck with weight loss? I'd love to hear your stories.
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Hi Cynthia, yes, I loss weight but it took some effort. Like doing intervals on the ellipitical or treadmill, fasting and constantly moving. I loss all 30 pounds I had gained. I recently put some back on due to medication but I'm working on losing it again. I was working out at the gym 3-4 days a week sometimes more. I followed a doctor online who has his own website for the fasting portion of losing weight. I started with 2 days a week of 16 hour fasts starting with my last meal, and breaking my fast at around 12 or 1pm depending on the hour I had my last meal at around 6 or 7pm. I did it twice a week, until he told me to do it 3 times a week, and I loss those extra 5 pds I was battling to lose. It worked and thereby, loss all the weight. I went down to a size 8 from a size 14 that I was. So it can be done, one thing I did to lose weight was to drink soup for dinner with a little bread, and that would be my last meal. I was happy to have loss the weight now that I think of it, I'm going to start eating that way again. Hope this helps.
I can relate I have just been hit with peri menopause, you sound extremely low and it is important to go and see doctor. I felt very low & finally agreed to taking prozac and finally I have started to be able to get on with life. I too have always been conscious of my figure so having a flabby belly (I went to fitness 3 times a week) but please don't dwell on how much weight you have put on what's important is getting your mind stronger. Being low or depressed will only add to it as you increase insulin & cortisol which in turns encourages the body to lay down fat stores in peri & menopause. It won't last forever but stressing only adds to it
For years I was around ten stone, heavier in the winter, lighter in the summer, with very little effort. When I hit forty it started to climb (higher in the winter, NOT so low in the summer). At 53 it just went up and up. Last Christmas I was 13 stone.
Like you I cut out sugar. I stopped eating over processed foods and cut right back on bread and pastries. I eat more fresh veg and salads (not limp lettuce and squashy tomatoes, but carrot and beetroot etc). I try as far as possible to eat organic meat and dairy and, without sweating it out at the gym, I have lost 21lb or a stone and a half since January.
As I am a Gardener (who needs gym membership?) I still wear the more comfy jog pants, But they are hanging off me! I kept my old jeans and now need a belt with them.
OH has done this with me, and has lost weight too. Partners out there must realise that they are no longer Greek gods themselves! Come on lads take a long look in the mirror – when was the last time you saw YOUR feet?
You can do it girl!
It varies so much, but I usually start the day with a bowl of porridge sweetened with raw honey, a good sprinkle of true cinnamon and a spoonful of flax seeds, yummy! That sets me up for the day and I am usually not hungry until 2PM.
Lunch is usually something like a cheese and beetroot sandwich or sardines on toast.
We have our evening meal about 6.30 and anything goes! I do a food shop once a week in Enniskillen – which is 25 miles away. When I lived in England I was less than a mile from an enormous Tesco. I love living here, but it is a bit of a pain in the bum if you find you are short of an ingredient. So I have to plan ahead quite a bit.
We used to get ready meals for the freezer and on 'shopping day' I would get a take-away for tea – now I get a big lump of cod or, my favourite, sock-eye salmon and have it with salad or new potatoes or stir fry.
We eat a lot of Italian and Japanese style food and we don't mention the word 'diet'.
I think the trick is, smaller plates, no late evening snacking and no rubbish. Someone once told me to avoid the centre of the supermarket where all the cook-in sauces, choc covered cereals and sweeties are, just shop around the outside, fresh veg, meat, cheese etc.
It has worked for us. We don't miss out completely on sweeties. I do get some dark chocolate and liquorice as a treat.
thank u for all the great tips. I think the smaller plates need to be brought out. I think that is where I am going wrong as i am quite good on avoiding snacks and sweets etc. So will try that. I thought that bread might be the problem but I think a few slices is no harm, just smaller portions of everything. hopefully wil have the same results as you soon.
Do you have a Lidl's near you? They have some lovely bread, a low GI one that is quite malty and has seeds in it and a sort of sourdough one. They are very tasty and quite filling and are lacking in the cxxp that is in a lot of bread these days.
oh i've seen that low GI bread. Will definitely try that.
Omg Cynthia I can so relate to all your saying especially about the marriage and sex drive don't think men really understand.
I have also gained weight really quickly all round my middle I dont have a waist feel like blob
Hot flushes a nightmare dont want to leave the house I feel so paranoid .
All these symptoms and many more make me feel so down in the dumps my memory has gone caput as well
I've tried hrt but had bad side effects just started taking vit d3 and flaxseed oil
Hope something works but I don't hold out any hope
Good to know I'm not alone it helps to read this forum
I lost 18lb last year using an app on my phone. I logged all foods and drinks I consumed each day and it used its database to calculate the calories I'd had. Also log all exercise or daily activity and it calculates how many calories you have burned. As long as you eat less than you burn you lose weight! It spurred me on to be more active and take more daily steps, parking away from supermarket entrance rather than as close as poss like I used to. I've got a bit lazy with the app now and the pounds are creeping back on. I did notice my arms and legs went skinny and the belly fat was the last to shift.
Maisie, I'm glad you found something that worked for you. But the weight I have lost has almost all been around my waist – all other measurements have stayed the same.
I have never counted calories, but I have switched to eating off smaller plates and also avoid 'low fat' and 'diet' food like the plague.
The other trick is not to eat after 8PM. Snacking, late suppers, and sweeties were all part of my downfall.
I used to be able to drop weight easily just by cutting out evening snacks. That's changed. I have a spare tire around my gut that seems to be here to stay. I guess it's how fat gets redistributed when our hormones start changing. My weight is up 18 lbs. in the last 3 yrs. and believe me I tried to keep it off. I guess I didn't try hard enough…lol But, like I said, it seems the rules have changed. Even if we no longer feel like the same person right now because of all our internal conflicts, our families still love us, they just don't understand our pain. I can't keep up with the housework and social life any more, but what interest and energy I do have I try to focus it on the most important things, like family, because at the end of the day it's people that matter, not laundry. Some day, we will all be through the hormonal mess but we will never be the same, because there's no way you can live through something so traumatic and be the same person. I know this ordeal has been an humbling experience for me. It has given me much more compassion and understanding for others who experience mental illnes such as depression and anxiety, as well as people trying to cope with chronic fatigue. I guess we just have to continue to do our best, and and accept that right now, we really can't do any better, but keep thinking it will eventually get better.
That's a very good outlook MoodyNoir. I had to come to grips with the fact that I will not be the same person and I'm not supposed to be. This is a transition just like from an infant to a toddler, to an adolescent to a teenager to an adult and later a senior. Its not a bad thing its the circle of life. So I will not be the same but I do know that I will not feel this bad forever and all you other lovely ladies will not either.
Thank you Jamie, as we all know, these are tough times, to be a middle age woman. The media is serving up the images of 20 yr. olds which have been altered through various surgeries and then edited and photoshopped until their own mothers may not recognize them. lol After all the living, loving, and serving our families and communities, we are treated like second rate citizens because we've lived beyond the age of 30 something. The real problem I've had during all my peri phase has been, not thinking with my brain, so much as my with my emotions, which as we all know can change a bazillion times a day. So, I believe when I'm having mood swings or am depressed, I filter my world, not with logic, but by emotions. Because I "feel" fat, old and ugly, doesn't make me so, but I believe it and take everything personally….from my family, husand, and of course the media. This is the time when we really need to be strong and stable, but unfortunately, our own bodies and minds seem to be working against us. I'm so glad to be a part of these forums. It means so much to be able to talk to women who really understand and uplift one another.
Take heart and take a look around the world. The Age of the 'Forty Something' Woman has come!
Remember the song 'I am woman, hear me ROAR'. Come on girls,let's not be invisible any more!
lol..kind of hard to feel that why when you're carrying around fat that you wish you didn't have!
That's no way to talk about your OH!
Sorry, couldn't help that.
I've got that song stuck in my head now!
oh boy now you got me going at it too but I can't remember all the words!
Yes, you're right. I've went from a secure and sane woman with common sense and logic, to an insecure, emotional woman and now, (happily) am returning to the land of logic, lol I was really just pointing out how that during some my Peri stages and rages, my chaotic emotions allowed me to interpret (distort) everything in my environment as proof of so many negative opinions of myself.
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