Figuring out your relationship status can be confusing. Here is what can help you define it.
Do you find yourself confused about the relationship you share with someone you’ve been seeing or hooking up with for a while? Do you keep in touch but only sporadically? Do you feel enveloped in uncertainty about your future together? If yes, you are most likely in a ‘situationship.’
A situationship is an undefined or non-committal relationship — almost resembling a regular romantic relationship but not quite. Typically, one partner in a situationship is content with the arrangement while the other hopes it will turn into something more.
Repeatedly engaging in situationships may hamper your self-growth. It may also pedestalize the other person.
Here, I’ll talk about three ways to recognize a situationship and find your way out of it.
While there is no standard definition of a situationship, here are a few of its tell-tale signs:
It is important that you communicate your expectations for the relationship early and often with your partner. If you are interested in developing the situationship into a serious relationship, you need to have the talk. Stating your needs and asking for what you want will give you clarity on where the other person stands. You may not always like the answer, but at least you’ll know.
If, after you talk it out, you realize that you misread the other person’s feelings or intentions, use it as a learning opportunity. Ask yourself questions like:
Reflecting and learning from your situationship is the best way to move on.
Alternatively, if it is you who does not want something more than a casual relationship, then taking a passive approach may be harmful.
Spending time together without making your intentions and expectations clear can create the illusion that you want something more long-term. Communicate your needs, boundaries, and expectations from the beginning to prevent hurt feelings in the future.
A situationship is a casual relationship. If that is what you are looking for, then go for it. If you are looking for a committed relationship, communicate that need with your partner. If at any point you feel like your situationship is jeopardizing your mental health, consult with a therapist who is professionally trained to assist you in such situations.